How can I accept this?

Moving on wouldn't be hard if I could just find some cool attractive people in this city. I know that all it takes for me to forget Chris is to have someone else around catching my attention, but I have yet to find that person in any way. I genuinely hate him and I know he's going absolutely nowhere in his life, I mean I've watched him do the same exact thing, which is nothing, for the past year. Yet I know the truth about him and I hate who he is, so why can't I stop trying to communicate with him? Sometimes I think about when I tried to leave him before and he held onto my ankles crying for me not to leave and wouldn't let go, and I remember almost laughing because I was thinking to myself "is this 21 year old boy really doing this to me?" I remember him showing up at my house when I wouldn't answer the phone and him freaking out and kicking my front door because I wouldn't talk to him I remember him locking me in my bedroom so I couldn't leave him, and those are alllll the fucking reasons I did leave him. So, why as soon as I got lonely and was 600 miles away did I think it was a good idea to call him up? It wasn't. It just kept me occupied and it's nice having someone care about you that much-but literally he's insane. REGUARDLESS; my whole point right now is i'm trying with one step in front of nother to get as quickly away from him as possible. and by that I mean I'm seriously trying to make it feel like he doesn't and didn't matter for as long as he did, I want to get to the point where someone mentions his name and I laugh, and memories race back but that's all they do, I don't want the memories to affect my feelings anymore; because that is all that they are, memories.