Friday, July 31, 2009

Oops!

it's very, what is the word...i guess i'll just say "weird", it is very "weird" being so interested in someone, who has absoluelty no interest in me back. I can't remember the last time this happened to me

It's very bothersome. I need a certain someone in my life. Mine and Kerry's drunken talks make me miss having someone there ha

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Save it

festival 8
Indio, California
Oct. 30, 31, Nov. 1
199$ ...GOING

Widespread Panic/ Allman Bros Band
charlotte, NC
Oct. 3
46$ ...GOING

Treasure Island Music Festival
San Fransico, Cali
Oct. 17 & 18
115$ hmm...


this sounds amazing i just want to get in my car and road trip to all these festies, i missed the season one AGAIN

Anticipation

only a hop, skip, and a jump away and i'll be in the home sweet heart of dixie...

why do i love that place so much?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

"Seeing is Believing"

"do you think if someone told us the ultimate truth to life, death, and the whole universe, would our minds be able to even comprehend it?"

what the real question is, would we even believe it?

Hi-Points

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it was a good day

Sunday, July 19, 2009

you're so gorgeous, i'll do anything

"what did you do last night?"

"nothing, just went home and fell asleep."

"liar, what did you do last night?"

"uh, hung out with my brother."

"liar, what did you do last night?"

***

"you kissed her, you laid on the bed with her, and you probably fucked her."

"no we didn't! that didn't happen, that didn't happen."

"stop fucking lying to me!"

"we didn't have sex..."

"but you kissed her, and did other stuff"

"we didn't have sex"

"do you even like her?"

"no, not at all."

"well, then i hope it was worth it"

***

i don't think i have ever felt something like this before..i just wish i could know what was running through his mind while making the decision to kiss someone else. why would he want to? i should be the only one he wants to kiss. i just wish i didn't love him so much so it'd be so much easier to just forget about him. i wish i could erase the past 10 months i've wasted with him. what is killing me the most though, is that i don't have enough will power to write him off, even though that's what i want more than anything.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

teasing

dreams are a fucking tease!

so, i am back in chelsea, and i'm driving, and i know i'm not allowed to call clay, but i drive over to his house anyway, and its 1:00 a.m. and i want to knock on the door, but i don't feel as if me needing to see clay is important enough to wake up his parents, so i don't. and a little boy carrying a raft on top of his head (haha) walks in the front door of clay's house while i'm standing on the porch smoking a cigarette. he comes back out and i ask him if clay is home, he tells me clay moved but he has his new address...but he says i have to give him something in return if i want the address and i tell him i'll give him a cigarette, which works! he goes inside gets clay's new address and i give him a cigarette and i leave. and as i'm pulling down clay's 'old' street, i get a call from a private caller and guess who it is? clay. "i miss you"

i wish that wasn't a dream. when i woke up it felt like i had just heard his voice fresh in my mind...oh i miss him so much.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

fucking beautiful

i want to just go, just set off into an unknown area and not let anything stop me.
i just want to break free and breathe and feel the embrace of existence inside of my being.
i want to feel whole and completely satisfied without needing anything besides what is around me.
i wish i could just get in my car and drive and drive and drive until i don't know where i am and i come upon a setting in the middle of nowhere and i can see over everything and the air is so thin it burns my lungs.....................................................................


i just want to go.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

way out there

i was all alone,
looking out at everything in front of me,
and i realized at that moment that no one in the entire universe knew where i was, except for me.
and for some reason that made me feel more peaceful than i have felt in a very long time...