you're so gorgeous, i'll do anything

"what did you do last night?"

"nothing, just went home and fell asleep."

"liar, what did you do last night?"

"uh, hung out with my brother."

"liar, what did you do last night?"

***

"you kissed her, you laid on the bed with her, and you probably fucked her."

"no we didn't! that didn't happen, that didn't happen."

"stop fucking lying to me!"

"we didn't have sex..."

"but you kissed her, and did other stuff"

"we didn't have sex"

"do you even like her?"

"no, not at all."

"well, then i hope it was worth it"

***

i don't think i have ever felt something like this before..i just wish i could know what was running through his mind while making the decision to kiss someone else. why would he want to? i should be the only one he wants to kiss. i just wish i didn't love him so much so it'd be so much easier to just forget about him. i wish i could erase the past 10 months i've wasted with him. what is killing me the most though, is that i don't have enough will power to write him off, even though that's what i want more than anything.