I shouldn't be awake;

However, I shouldn't be a lot of things that I am.

Today my mind was full of millions of little thoughts that just raced in and out of my focus. I feel like, like, if I could just grasp onto something, anything-an idea, a philosophy, an understanding, of something that is running my mind lately maybe I wouldn't be so easy to break. Everything is so up in the air, floating around trying to escape out the cracks of the newly opened door. My very being is becoming weak and indecision is taking over me again...I never meant to let this happen again. I never wanted to have another one, and I did, and now I remember how much my independence means to me and how much I thrive off of others being just as independent.

On another note, my best friend, Clay, needs to come home. I need someone to talk to so bad, someone I can just break down and spill everything to and not get sympathy from him, because I don't need sympathy, and I sure as hell don't want it. I need my own piece of mind, and I'm pretty sure he's the only one who can feed me it without me resenting them.