I'm floating in this boat, alone.

THIS BOAT OF MISERY. it just sucks hating every aspect of your goddamn life! I'm too emotional, I always get into these funks, one: happy! two: depressed. Fuck. I feel so abandoned, and alone, and forgotten. I'm not sure why, I know I have friends. Being home all the time gets my mind to thinking, and I hate thinking, thinking can be so dangerous when you live in an unstable state of mind, and that's what I live in. I take this medicine so I can just sleep because without it I'd stay awake all night thinking and thinking and thinking. My schedule is so fucked up. I just feel like it wouldn't impact anyone's life weather I stayed in Alabama, or moved. Even in thinking that I still hesitate moving states. I'm so messed up. Honestly, I don't know anyone more selfish and disrespectful than myself, and I don't want to be like this, but I just am. I mean I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so frustrated.