Wonder

And now I sit. In the moment. In the thoughts. What to say, what not to say.
Should it really matter?
Why hold back? Give it all you got.
With nothing in return, I'd almost rather a slap in the face.
I gave it my all. Feelings. Where do they come from?
What do you feel? Why can't you say?
You were the lucky one, I was the profound one.
One of a kind. You don't find many, but they never know. They never see. All we do is observe.
Take in. Absorb. That's what we do. And we get slapped harder than them all.

***

I type, and no one reads this shit. This is my "diary"; this is me.
My feelings. My emotions. My hopes, fears, plans, thoughts, ideas.
As public as could be, and no one knows them.
I love me, and not many people can say that.
I give everything my all, and I love with everything.

***

I just want feedback, words, emotions, feelings.
You can't say everything was nothing.
You can't act like everything was nothing,
but you do.
So, was it nothing?