Who is to say

Gone, left us behind, waved and smiled and vanished. Is that what dying means? Because I would love, love, love to think so, but the goose bumps, and the chills that I get from thinking of death tells me something different.

Just a huge hand reaching out of the sky, ready to catch you right as you have come to an end. YOUR end, your goodbye forever. You are never going back.

It doesn't sound so bad when it is all premeditated.
But what happens when you are just leaving a party, driving home one morning, and that huge hand reaches out and grabs you before you even notice it is there. That is how it happens. You don't even have time to blink before you're gone, it is all so true. We are superior beings, yet it doesn't take much to bring us down and take us out. Shouldn't that mean something? Shouldn't that tell us something about our creator and creation?

I've only experienced death, losing someone, a few times in my short lifetime. It was always the same reaction. I feel like someone knocked the wind out of me and the chill bumps raise. I have no words. Just a blank stare. An empty mind.

I wonder what it will feel like to lose myself. My end. Thinking about it, I imagine it feeling like I just lost my stomach from going down a huuge hill. I can only hope to leave at peace with myself, but then again, I might never do that.